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Joke of the Day

"I wish you were ketchup.... ...So you could squirt on my Weiner!"

"what does donald trump do with the nuclear missiles when he doesn't want to have them anymore fire them"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The pizza doesn't scream in the oven"

"What do you call a modified practice amongst border security workers? A custom custom custom."

"My TV thinks it's a kangaroo... It just won't stop channel hopping."

"Honey, I let myself go and gained all this weight to prevent other men from hitting on me. You think I want to look like this? I do this for you."

"How do you know when a mongol is level? He's drooling from both corners of his mouth."

"*deletes fb account* *leaves social media* *goes to Himalayas* *pigeon comes with a note* *opens note* *candy crush request* *dies*"

"Why do they call it multiple personality disorder and not being a people-person?"

"Slightly funny gay joke What doesn't work? A gay dude allergic to nuts"