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Joke of the Day

"What is Donald Trump's favorite Christmas song? White Christmas."

"Did a somersault for the first time in years. I know that's not a good tweet but I'm getting bored lying here waiting for the paramedics."

"How do you get a little old lady to say the f* word? Get another old lady to say ""BINGO!"""

"The Dress Joke ""Did you hear about that blue and black dress?"" ""No, what about it?"" ""Turns out it was white and gold."" ""Oh thaaat one."""

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number that you've probably never heard of. I'd explain it but you probably wouldn't get it."

"A man on an airplane was having a heart attack The stewardess asked if anyone on board was a doctor. A man replies, ""I'm a vegan!"""

"Might stand on a construction site looking at blue prints today and see what happens."

"If you're about to be turned into stone by Medusa, strike a hilarious pose and at least lighten things up for the next guy."

"I fell bottom-first on to a window today. It was a pane in the arse."

"What is a pirate's favorite TV show? EEEEEE-YARRRRRRRR"