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Joke of the Day

"Nice try, black horses not named ShaNeighNeigh."

"As I was going to St. Ives I met a man with seven wives And that fucker looked depressed."

"Why is it called 'Your Bowels' and not 'Your Instinks'"

"I'm going through a phase of categorizing my life in phases. I call this one my 'phase' phase."

"What do you call a t-shirt with stalks of wheat on it? A crop top!"

"What do they call shrimp killing a bunch of other shrimp? A krilling spree!"

"(Starbucks drive thru) Me: I'd like to pay-it-forward for the car behind me. Barista: That will be $30 Me: How much for the car behind him?"

"I'm going to change my name to Sparta so when I get introduced to people they can say ""This is Sparta."""

"I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year... Now, it's Election night."

"I'd make a joke about albinism but... I'm afraid it would be off-color."