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Joke of the Day

"I'm going through a phase of categorizing my life in phases. I call this one my 'phase' phase."

"A snake is what happens when a string goes ""what if I was alive and had a weird mad looking head"""

"Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece."

"Batman: ""Shall we watch a film?"" Superman: ""Have you got Cape Fear?"" Batman: ""Only in revolving doors. Now, a film?"""

"There was once this starving homeless man near Pyongyang... This joke has been removed. Food and shelter is plentiful in North Korea. To desire more is greed."

"I combined National Pancake Day with International Women's Day Took my wife to IHOP and ordered a stack of pancakes for myself, and 8/10ths of a stack for her."

"Iron Man: I'll hack into their security. Hulk: HULK SMASH DOOR! Thor: I'll silence their guards. Captain America: What's a microwave?"

"What size box of condoms do you never want to buy? The family size."

"Thought all these voices in my head meant I was crazy, but one of them is a therapist. And he says I'm fine."

"Frozen Window Wife texts her husband ""Windows Frozen, what do I do?"" Husband texts back ""pour some lukewarm water over it"" Wife replies ""Gee, thanks. Now computer is totally fucked"""