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Joke of the Day

"I just got my roof painted. The painters worked all day long, when I asked them how much I had to pay, they just replied, ""Don't worry about the paint, it's on the house. """

"Why are people not right in the head? Because on the left side of the brain there is nothing right and on the right side there is nothing left!"

"I prefer to think in terms of ""good"" cholesterol and ""misunderstood"" cholesterol."

"Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter."

"what do you call somebody who hates shoes from Asia? A lacist."

"What's Bill Cosby's favorite part of the house? The roof."

"Today's date: 4/9/16 2 squares/3 squares/4 squares 4/9/16"

"You know why yoga is so unpopular for men? Well women don't mind muff diving but dudes don't like to suck their own dicks."

"If you aren't sure if you like someone, here's a test: imagine they're dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?"

"Just made this up, probably not as funny as I think it is. What do you call a dozen birds making a rooster? A twelve finch cock!"