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Joke of the Day

"If you think the USA can shoot down nuclear missiles fired by North Korea just remember we couldn't even have lights at the Super Bowl."

"I'm tired of people saying I sit too much and I will not stand for it"

"Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? There's a great view, but no atmosphere."

"Making writing mistakes is in my blood. Type O."

"I like girls in high heels They're always on there toes Whacka, whacka"

"I parked in a disabled space today... ...and a traffic warden shouted to me, ""Oi, what's your disability?"" I said ""Tourettes! Now fuck off!"""

"What's Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking. J.K. Rolling"

"Jesus saves But Moses invests"

"Doctor: Ted, you're dying, Patient: My name's not Ted. Doctor (checking clipboard): Linda, you're pregnant."

"What's red and unhealthy for your teeth? A brick."