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Joke of the Day

"I parked in a disabled space today... ...and a traffic warden shouted to me, ""Oi, what's your disability?"" I said ""Tourettes! Now fuck off!"""

"What do you call a dead IS fighter WAS fighter."

"What do you get if you cross a wireless with a hairdresser ? Radio waves !"

"How does one robber ask another how they're doing? ""How are you holding up?"""

"""What's the matter with your dinner ?"" ""Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten !"""

"What did the wife say to the husband? Beats me \_()_/ "

"When people ask why I have a ""Trump 2016"" sticker on my car I say it's for safety. When i'm pulled over, it's the quickest way to tell the Cop i'm white."

"QUESTION: What were the very first straws made of? ANSWER: Straw."

"What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? Chewing gum."

"My coworker and I have the same job title with the same number of years experience. He was pissed when he found out my salary was only a fraction his. Turns out that fraction is 2/1"