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Joke of the Day

"The pen is mightier than the sword. Also, parking a car in someone's living room sends a pretty damn clear message too."

"Why do drug dealers love Muslims? Because they are always stoned."

"Why did black people pick so much cotton? Because we told them to."

"Since there are more Chinese people than any other race on Earth, does that mean they have normal eyes and we have big crazy googly ones?"

"Yo mamma so fat... That when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up"

"[Going through customs] Anything to declare, sir? 1...2... Sir, what are you 3...4...I declare a thumb war! Oh bring it on *misses flight*"

"Fuck you, little sticker on produce!"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean."

"my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him."

"Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride"