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Joke of the Day

"Since there are more Chinese people than any other race on Earth, does that mean they have normal eyes and we have big crazy googly ones?"

"Top two sprees: 2) killing; 1) shopping"

"So I accidentally sent nudes to everyone in my address book. Worst part about it? Cost me a small fortune in postage stamps."

"I hope I get a good grade on my kids science project this year."

"..... Ya see we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?"

"I hope if I ever get taken in for questioning there's no algebra."

"I just killed a man Knifely done"

"Doc Brown and Marty are watching the news The newscaster announces ""Due to a large string of worker protests in the United States the price of cheese has gone up 200%"" Doc Brown: ""Grate, Scott!"""

"I got pulled over drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn't even know I was driving."

"4-year-old: What happens if I throw up in the red shoe bin by the door? Me: Why is your question alarmingly specific? 4: No reason."