72130

Joke of the Day

"Mrs. Claus can't have kids Do you know why Mrs. Claus can't have kids? Because Santa only comes once a year, and that's down the chimney."

"I'm calculating how much it would cost to install lights for a little league baseball field A ballpark estimate would be perfect"

"What do you call a water fowl looking in a window? Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)"

"When I was a child I could go into a shop with just a pound, and come out with 3 bars of chocolate, 2 cans of coke and a magazine. But these days, fucking CCTV everywhere."

"If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what would Delaware? I don't know but Alaska"

"I only listen to Australian indie pop music on Sundays.. Because that is the Lorde's day."

"I put my grandma on speed dial. Instagram is a thing, right?"

"Did you hear? About the cannibal that dumped his girlfriend?..."

"Baby, let's stay up all night and watch people Instagram the sunrise."

"Who is faster... Speedy Gonzales or Road Runner? It depends on how close they are to the Mexico-United States border."