72057

Joke of the Day

"So a beautiful girl I met was coming to my house.. But I was afraid of getting a boner, so I taped my dick to my leg. She shows up in a mini-skirt, smoking hot.. so I kicked her in the face."

"Damn girl, are you Reddit? Cus you repeat the same stupid shit over and ov-- Aww shit........."

"The best part of waking up is still mystery to me."

"What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? Synonym Toast Crunch If you said Synonym Life, please leave."

"Mary had a little lamb... and the midwife passed out."

"I get my exercise by running and jumping over the light beam before my garage door closes on me."

"Women are like credit cards The ones I really want have a low interest and won't qualify me, so I get stuck with one that has a high interest, extra fees and no rewards. *(credit: Uncyclopedia)*"

"What did the gay atheist shout after Noah threw him off the ark for being a gay atheist? Help! I'm thinking!"

"Which news outlet has the most interesting Black Lives Matter coverage? BBC"

"I don't trust Sperm Banks, so naturally I keep my semen hidden in my mattress."