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Joke of the Day

"Women are like credit cards The ones I really want have a low interest and won't qualify me, so I get stuck with one that has a high interest, extra fees and no rewards. *(credit: Uncyclopedia)*"

"Son: Is it true? Dad I heard that in ancient China a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere son everywhere!"

"I keep a sandwich in a holster strapped to my ankle for emergencies... It's a ""below knee sandwich"""

"Sean Connery: A Man Who Conquers All *obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice* What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle? When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection."

"*firefighter wraps me in blanket after he rescues me* Um I just came out of a fire so I'm pretty hot actually"

"*gets first nose bleed since childhood* Apparently our periods have synced, can I have some Midol and a tampon?"

"A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one"

"My arm tried killing me last night I told him ""nice tri"""

"What Did the Sadist Do to the Masochist? Nothing."

"Chuck norris...enough said There used to be a street near the school called Chuck Norris street, but they had to change the name, because no one crosses chuck norris and lives"