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Joke of the Day

"I don't trust Sperm Banks, so naturally I keep my semen hidden in my mattress."

"What do you name a dog with no legs? It doesn't really matter, he isn't going to Heel anytime soon."

"So I invented a new beef and vegetable recipe, but it wasn't so great... It was meaty-okra."

"*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as i suspected. wind."

"Asked my friend when the finals would end. ""Finals never finalize."""

"I received an envelope full of semen today The mail came"

"my friend told me onions are the only food that make you cry.. so I smacked him in the face with a watermelon. <_<"

"A day after the Blagojevich verdict and a radical stylist announces plans to build a hair salon two blocks from the courthouse. Disgraceful."

"What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce? I did not see that coming."

"I ask WebMD to diagnose the weird brown mole I just noticed. ""1. Is it delicious?"" ...Yes? ""2. Were you eating Easter candy in bed?"" ...Oh."