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Joke of the Day

"Why cannibals prefer to eat gay people? Because they have good taste."

"I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again."

"Are you a rational function? because I could ride your asymptote to infinity."

"Burger King's full name is Burger Luther King Jr."

"if i don't respond to your text, it's because i fell asleep finding a dumb picture of mos def to send u in lieu of typing ""most definitely"""

"My Girlfriend wanted me to give her anal. I said fuck that shit."

"I've had rain boots sitting in my dorm since college started. I never thought I'd need them. As it turns out, these boots are made for Joaquin."

"What happened when the Malaysian asked the Russian out on a date? He got shot down."

"Anyone who says ""on his person"" rather than ""on him"" is not only pretentious, but obviously doesn't think in 140 characters."

"Doctors Jokes "" Doctor I keep stealing things"" "" Take these tablets; if that doesn't work get me a flat screen TV."""