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Joke of the Day

"Doctors Jokes "" Doctor I keep stealing things"" "" Take these tablets; if that doesn't work get me a flat screen TV."""

"I have a huge fear of elevators... I've started taking steps to avoid it."

"A Guy Walks Into A Bar And Sees... (nsfw, I guess) ... a dog licking its balls. He says ""I wish I could do that"" and the bartender say ""Give him a biscuit, he might let you."""

"What do you attach to a transgender chicken? Dez Nuts!"

"I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane's dog & she was like, ""I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"""

"Summer in Scotland. . . Is the best day of the year."

"Well if there's one thing we can all agree on regarding tomorrow's inauguration ... Orange is the new Black"

"I caught my wife having sex with another man with the lights on I didn't know had married a man!"

"I just dropped 15 pounds! But don't worry, I unplugged the toilet afterwards."

"Look, this is the only body I'll ever have and that is why I'm covering it in a thick layer of fat to protect it."