72016

Joke of the Day

"Anyone who says ""good morning"" on a Monday is a sociopath."

"This new fish cooking channel sounds kinda dirty. Especially, the Filet Show."

"My grandpa died peacefully in his sleep... But not the other 3 people in his car."

"How can you go broke making Twinkies when two states just legalized marijuana?"

"A and C were going to prank their friend... ...but they just letter B"

"Why do we have to listen to a 45 second instructional to leave someone a voice mail? Beep, talk. We get it, condescending cell companies."

"Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the Internet? Click Whittington"

"They say you learn alot from your first relationship Ya! That's why i'm not having a second"

"The other day my friend was telling me I didn't know what irony meant... Which is ironic because we were standing at a bus stop."

"Cop: did you do it? Me: no Cop: you know it's truthful Tuesday right? Me: it's actually Wednesday Cop: damn it, who's your crush then"