71927

Joke of the Day

"I know five people who are clinically insane... I'm two of them."

"[God creating the frog] ""How about a really stupid-looking kangaroo fish?"""

"I saw a really lifelike portrait of Donald Trump the other day... ... it was really freaky how the hands followed you around the room."

"(Possible nsfw)Adam was watching Eve.... Masturbate with a fish. God said, great now I'm never gonna get the smell out!"

"Roommate and I got our first electric bill and long story short we're now Amish"

"When I said I wanted an origami book... I didn't mean a regular book in the shape of a butterfly."

"Spider-man never tweets via iPhone. He's a web kinda guy."

"Met a redneck magician last night.. Told me he could turn a 12 pack into a case of domestic violence"

"Not a fan of APA MLA, however, was love at first cite."

"[Request] I need a cutesy pun related to couples/love and umbrellas/rain. Sort of like ""Eiffel for you"", or ""never leaf me"" if you know what I mean. But please nothing too long :)"