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Joke of the Day

"Mgmt: What makes you qualified for this job? Me: Because i work for less and good at licking. Mgmt: You're hired."

"I could never marry a tennis line judge... They always point out your faults."

"I heard there was an amber alert! I was like ""Shit Terrorist attack!But then my friend told it meant that some kid had gone missing. I was like ""Oh thank god!"""

"Why do ducks nod their head when they walk? They're listening to duckstep!"

"I read in an American newspaper last night ""15 die in twister""... ...I don't think you're playing it right."

"I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said ""Bread in captivity""."

"Probably karma that Will Smith made a song about parents not understanding and then had a son who literally no one understands."

"What is a YouTube Heroes favorite comment? [removed]"

"if you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape"

"So my dog's pregnant & she's never been in contact with another dog & I'm having a lot of accusations thrown my way."