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Joke of the Day

"deer diary: day 67 at hugwerts skool uv wezirdry nd none uv teh studints hav noticd dat my wahnd is an slim jim."

"Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really? Which one? Fred: A Saint Bernard."

"How many people live in the lower part of Italy? There are literally Sicilians."

"What do you call gay Jewish people? REAL FRUIT JEWS xD"

"How does the Consigliere get into the Godfather's house late at night? with his own set of donkeys!"

"Why did George Lucas Cross The Road? To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80."

"Dear ladies who wear black tights and red shoes: Please stop. Minnie Mouse is not a style icon for grown women. Love, M"

"I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week.. I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week and I've finally found the G Spot.. Turns out her sister had it all along."

"Dear algebra, Stop telling us to find your x, she's never coming back. Don't ask y. Sincerely, PB1541"

"I want to ask you out, but I've got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots. And.."