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Joke of the Day

"The best thing about being deaf. The best thing about being deaf is that all genres of music sounds fantastic!"

"Why did they fire the contract lawyer with lazy eye? He was always dotting his T's and crossing his I's. (I made up this joke myself)"

"what's about 5 inches long and hasn't been inside another man in almost 2 weeks? Cory Monteith's heroin syringe"

"I got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants the pay isn't great but the tips are enormous."

"What do you call a girl without boobs? **Justin Bieber**"

"What did one Redditer say to another? Doesn't matter, the real joke is in the comments."

"[about to have sex] WIFE: what happened to all the condoms?! [cut to] ME: *making balloon animals at work* [cut back] ME: affair"

"If a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys she's a slut. If I do the same thing then I'm gay"

"I thought of this one in history class today The thing about communist jokes is that everyone has to get them."

"A certain leisure complex had a cinema and a swimming pool. One day, the cinema screen fell into the pool. The owners left it there and used it as a dive-in theater."