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Joke of the Day

"My Swedish girlfriend broke up with me Now, I'm just somebody that she used to blow."

"Ignorant person: ""You're Canadian. You live in igloos, right?"" Me: ""You're American. You live in McDonalds', Right?"

"It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles, that you realise... ...there is always a way to solve problems, without using violence."

"Mr Circle went to go see a doctor after being stabbed... The doctor said his blood loss was very sphere"

"Did you hear about the monkey who was a virgin and didn't care? Zero fucks gibbon. (sorry)"

"If I die, tell them to reconstruct me from sock DNA."

"[For enemies] You know the difference between you and I? You came out of your mom. I came in her."

"What's the Turkish version of court packing? Turkey stuffing"

"It's amazing the things you'll do for a person when you want to see them naked."

"What do you call hand warmers scattered throughout a room? Intermittens."