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Joke of the Day

"The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."

"Its not my fault I have a double-chin... When God was giving out chins.. I thought he said Gin so I said I'll have a double."

"What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his nose"

"I swear to God guys.. OP is not a faggot"

"What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common? They have access to arms."

"Me: ""I'm looking for a psychic who rates themselves highly."" Ian: ""I'm a medium."" Me: ""I need someone better than that."""

"I just saw this advert and the lady said allergies cause you to avoid the things you love. That explains why I never get laid."

"Money doesn't grow on trees. Your move, multinational agricultural biotechnology corporations."

"the best thing about hair glitter is that you don't have to use it"

"What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car? ""We'll have to rehearse that."""