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Joke of the Day

"A scoliosis patient had given up hope of recovery.. But after the long and painful surgery, he took his first steps and humbly said ""I stand corrected""."

"Why did the burgler take a bath? He wanted to have a 'clean getaway'."

"When my wife starts ... When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."

"Interviewer: we need someone experienced, this job will break you... Worm: (slowly breaks itself in two while maintaining eye contact)"

"Why people who work with computers have a lot of spare time"

"What fruit can't get married? CANTELOPE"

"I want to get a job cleaning mirrors It's just something I could see myself doing"

"How much space is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible."

"Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream? Both are in *a la mode*."

"Someone called me yesterday and said, ""Hello, is this Ross"" I said "" no it's Chandler"" And they hung up. So much for trying to be Friends."