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Joke of the Day

"Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth? And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?"

"A vegan, a priest, & a rabbi walk into a bar. The vegan pretty much just blabs on & on about how he's a vegan for the next hour. The end."

"Australia wants to secede from the Commonwealth to distance itself from the British Monarchy... It will no longer be a kingdom and it can't be a principality, so it has to be a country."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank hot chocolate before it was cool."

"Did you know some dogs don't pass the Police Academy? ...they didn't pass the pawlygraph test."

"Gold walks into a bar... So gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out! I show myself out..."

"I like a good long fiction piece... So I picked up the Bible at my local book store."

"Which actor is a dog's favorite? Bark Ruffaro"

"There is a 'you can kill them if you catch them within a minute' rule on people who wake you up. EVERYONE knows that. *sharpening knife*"

"I like NPR because you always know how much saliva is inside every announcer's mouth at all times."