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Joke of the Day

"Niece: found these handcuffs in your drawer. Me: yea I got arrested once Niece: omg why Me: for going through my aunt's drawers."

"There's a new drink called the Sandy It's a watered down Manhattan."

"What did batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? ""Robin, get in the batmobile!"""

"Why do you wrap gophers in electrical tape? So they don't explode when you fuck 'em."

"Gary: Standing in line at the movies, little white girl has a brown colored doll. Talk about progress in America brehs. Fred: But she owns that doll tho."

"Statistics is like a bikini on a beautiful woman... ... what it reveals is exciting; what it hides is vital."

"Patient: ""It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth."" Dentist: ""I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."""

"Jokes don't kill people people who don't get jokes kill people."

"North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: Rapping, Son. North West: mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))"

"My cousin is having trouble with the mods on Reddit... ...he's my cousin twice [removed]"