200702

Joke of the Day

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? For being out standing in his field."

"Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand..."

"What's the difference between an Afghan Military Base and a Pakistani School? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"Shouldn't elevators have a different name for the trip back down?"

"When I was younger MTV actually played videos. That's what the M stands for. Music. Not Maternity, Motherhood or Moron."

"What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk."

"ME: bartender. another. BARTENDER: but you just- ME: *slams fist on bar* ANOTHER [bartender reluctantly hands me another moist towelette]"

"""I am"" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ""I do"" is the longest sentence? Holy shit this blew up"

"Pigeons always look like they're jamming out to an invisible iPod."

"The fact that there isn't a brand of crackers called Cracka Ass Crackers really makes me lose faith in black entrepreneurial spirit."