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Joke of the Day

"2 for the price of 1 Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the idiot's house Knock Knock <Who's there?> It's the Chicken"

"A Frenchman has a wife and a lover He loves his lover the most. An Englishman has a wife and a lover, he loves his wife the most. A Jewish man has a wife and a lover, he loves his mother the most."

"[text] ""Hey"" Hi. ""I'm just laying in bed thinking about you."" This is your mom. ""New phone who dis?"" Eric, that doesn't work. You texted me."

"What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila Mockingbird!"

"Just crushed my son in an epic game of Monopoly. His tears flooded Baltic Avenue."

"Daughter has amputated three dolls in the span of twelve hours. Really hoping our dog is smart enough to stay away from her."

"I don't hold grudges... my father did and I always hated him for it"

"xpost from /r/tellmeajoke TMAJ that includes ""shotgun"" and ""paring knife"""

"Why did Jesus cross the road? To get away from Donald Trump"

"This sub has taken a dive recently I guess I should put my phone in rice to try and dry it out."