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Joke of the Day

"Hey girl, are you calculus? Because you're hard to understand and seem pretty useless in the greater scope of my life goals."

"What do you do if you see a space man? Park your car man."

"Ford Ibble A car salesman asked me, ""What are you looking for in a car?"" I said, ""It has to be affordable"" He said, ""I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."""

"I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig.... Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep."

"There's a new app for people recovering from bad dates. Anyone ever tried *Cinder*?"

"What did the carpenters call their brass quartet? The Tuba Four"

"If my girlfriend and I were stoners, I would propose by asking ... ...""Marriage, you wanna?"""

"Did you hear about the worlds greatest magician? He was walking down the street and turned into a drug store"

"""Chivalry isn't dead,"" I say, watching one zombie hold the door open for another."

"Calling your baby ugly makes me rude? How about you making me look at your ugly baby makes YOU rude."