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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by locking up an underage girl in my sex dungeon Whoops, wrong sub"

"Friend: What happened? 15yo me: *arm in a sling* Got hit by 2 buses. Friend: What happened? 37yo me: *in a full body cast* I sneezed weird."

"If tree fall in Siberian woods... And tree fall on Glorious Leader Putin... Does make any sound other than applause?"

"My ex-girlfriend had a parakeet That fucking thing would never shut up. The bird was pretty cool though."

"10: What does AF mean? After Flossing. Now go brush your teeth and they will be clean AF. Why do you ask? 10: Mom said you were lazy AF."

"Why can't Obama dance? Cause he has two leftist feet."

"I just got a new job working for R.E.M. . . . I'm expecting a generous Michael Stipend."

"Hey, you wanna hear a joke? Ya, so do I."

"Sarcasm has to be the official language when we live in a world this absurd."

"Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined ""victim"" as ""one who has encountered Chuck Norris"""