199675

Joke of the Day

"Robin: ""Please?"" Batman: ""No."" ""It's prom!"" ""You can't drive the Batmobile!"" Alfred: ""Can I? It's Bingo night."" Batman: *tosses keys*"

"Army guy: sniper in the clock tower, 6 o'clock Me [seeing the time on the clock tower says 5 o'clock]: we'll worry about him in an hour then"

"If I was smarter I'd make my social network passwords impossible to type when drunk."

"Enough is enough It's the exact same word"

"(NSFW) Why does Beyonce sing ""To the left, to the left""? Because niggers have no rights. or Option 2: Because women have no rights."

"People ask if I saw any 'Red Flags'... Well, I was an anarcho-capitalist and she was a Hoxhaist..."

"Corny computer jokes? Why was the spider inside the Computer? He was looking for a webpage!"

"I asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the vodka Turns out he was my spirit guide."

"I hit a can of bug spray with a hammer and my dad walked in the room. He caught me beating Off"

"A joke I made up inspired by Mitch Hedberg. ""Last week I had to put down my dog. It was sad."" ""I said, you are one dumb dog."""