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Joke of the Day

"In retrospect, back in my club days I should have recognized there was a reason the beat always sounded like DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE."

"My wife left me because she said I made a meal out of everything. I intend to make her eat those words."

"[at airport] TSA: sir, you've been randomly chosen for a cavity search. ME: that's cool i didn't know my flight included a dental cleaning"

"The Helen Keller doll is gonna be hot this Christmas ... Wind it up and it walks off a table ..."

"why public hairs not gone white ?"

"What's a waste of time, wrapped up and is regular near Christmas? Shitty Christmas Jokes"

"What bounces and makes little children cry? My donation check to Feed the Children!"

"Why are there so many avenues in Belgium? Because German soldiers like to march in the shadow."

"What's the difference between a taliban outpost and an Afghani Elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drones"

"Finally nailed my girlfriend and her twin last night You know how I tell them apart? Her brother has a mustache."