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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes if I trip on a crack I act like it's no biggie by breaking into a jog and don't stop until I'm in a new city with a new life."

"""Welcome to Panda Express"" ""I'd like one panda"" ""Sorry we don't sell pand-"" *slips cashier $100* ""Meet me in the back alley in ten minutes"""

"Q:What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A:('A jump rope')"""

"Lets play army Want to play army? I can lay down and you can blow the hell out of me."

"What is a Coronation Street resident's least favourite football team? Tramnear Rovers"

"I came up with a suspenseful joke about cheese... Queso here it goes...."

"Lesbian Joke Why can't lesbians wear make-up and go on a diet at the same time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig when Mary Kay is already on her face."

"What's the smartest thing that ever came out of Einstein's wife's mouth? Einstein's dick."

"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet."

"Help! I've been robbed! They stole everything except my deodorant, shampoo and hand soap. Dirty bastards"