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Joke of the Day

"So today I found out I have Alzheimer's disease... But on the bright side, at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease."

"The Soviet Cycle of Procrastination First, you are Putin down your work. Then, you are Stalin for time. Finally, you are Russian to finish."

"Why didn't the elephant eat the banana?"

"What has 5 balls and rapes the poor? The lottery."

"My friends keep telling me to stop making jokes about Linkin Park But I just ignore them because in the end, it doesn't even matter"

"How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel."

"A black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The police. They're the police, racist."

"What do you call a psychic midget that just escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"I rented a prostitute for $60 an hour, I paid her 50 cents."

"I know Tinder is gonna help me meet the right person because all it takes is a mutual like of Virgin America on Facebook."