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Joke of the Day

"A man goes into Boots and says: ""Have you got Viagra? Do you have a prescription?"" asks the chemist. ""No,"" he replies, ""But I've got a photograph of the wife..."""

"Did you hear about that brilliant Irish investor? His money just keeps Dublin"

"What does an Engineer use for contraception? His personality!"

"Before he leaves for work, my husband whispers the 3 words I love to hear him say... ""I made coffee"""

"Two muffins are in an oven First muffin turns and says ""damn it's hot in here"" The second muffin says "" holy sh!t, A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"Where do ghosts mail their letters? At the ghost office."

"Everyone asks me if I'm in a relationship with the blind girl that I recently met... But I'm just seeing her."

"Why do they even bother having different brands of milk?"

"Did you hear that the king of the jungle fell into a deep, deep sleep? He's a lion in a coma."

"At Dairy Queen: Me: Medium Heath Blizzard please. DQ: You wanna spoon? Me: Sure, when do you get off?"