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Joke of the Day

"the host of the party told me to make myself comfortable so I went back home to bed"

"We should move to a herb based fuel economy We can finally make the trains run on thyme."

"Can somebody please hand me a knife? This fork just isn't cutting it."

"How many Trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb? None! The room's been dark ever since Jose got deported!"

"Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10? They revived to much XP "

"The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense."

"Success is like giving birth... everyone congratulates you in the end but nobody knows how many times you got fucked in order to get there."

"Walmart is giving away dead batteries for the holidays... Free of charge"

"Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine"

"How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan."