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Joke of the Day

"Everyone asks me if I'm in a relationship with the blind girl that I recently met... But I'm just seeing her."

"I hate when I shape my hand like a phone to tell someone to call me, but they're in their 20s and don't know what phones used to look like."

"What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant? They were both caused by a message from god."

"How many elves does a german santa have? Elf."

"I love the way the earth rotates. It really makes my day."

"another vampire joke for you guys. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""see you next month."""

"A person running around with a laptop chasing an unsecured WiFi signal looks eerily like a cat chasing a laser pointer."

"Why is auto correct regarded as an important invention? Because it's mage tipping berry ready for us. Obligatory edit: very easy for us"

"Confucius say Man high on sex use cherry picker"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!"