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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about that brilliant Irish investor? His money just keeps Dublin"
Next Joke
"When Bruce decides to do stand-up, what will his stage-name be? Penny Bruce"
"Put all your neighbors names on your Halloween tombstones in your front yard and wink when you're outside and they walk by."
"How do rhinos like their eggs? Poached."
"Her: What's your fantasy? Me: Movie theaters that charge kids 3 and under $500 per ticket."
"I got raped by a troupe of mimes last night They performed unspeakable acts."
"When someone pushes the ""2"" button in an elevator it should automatically announce their weight."
"Women used to call me ugly until they heard how much money I have Now they call me ugly and poor. (Heard a long time ago, couldn't find source)"
"I asked Yoda: ""Are we going the right way?"" ""No, backwards, I am going."""
"[bono dressed as magician] ""think of a song any song"" purple haze ""right n- no, a U2 song"" oh ok um.. elevation? ""ok now.. check your phone"""