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Joke of the Day

"So I was having sex with this chick and she kept calling out another blokes name. What kind of name is 'rape' anyway?"

"What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger; the other is a fish."

"Strippers won't tell you their real names for privacy, But they'll show you their buttholes for $5"

"Did you hear the one about the guy who got two tickets to the Cuckold Convention? His wife ended up taking someone else."

"me:(nervously) so I gotta fight one of these things? zookeeper: what? no me: I choose...the polar bear zookeeper: why would you choose that"

"Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch? Because they have no attachments."

"Me and my girlfriend were on a cruise, listening to Bob Marley. She said he was Upboat."

"Why do your in-laws become dangerous after a divorce? They become outlaws"

"What kind of martial art does a chef do? Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)"

"Did you hear about the bacterial outbreak in the office? They said it was a staff infection."