71277

Joke of the Day

"Give a Nigerian a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start e-mailing people."

"When I got back from Vietnam people asked how I could shoot women and children...I told them, ""it's easy you just don't lead as much"""

"Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Most importantly, talk in irrelevant cliches."

"How many flys does it to take screw in a lightbulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there."

"*a friend tells me their problems* me: mhm, ok, have you tried eating about it?"

"Hmmm,,,, Tell me more about this ""victim"" role you play due to the circumstances that you've created for yourself."

"Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says How do you drive this thing"

"Trump is single-handedly bringing down America. Actually, I take it back. With hands that small, he'd have to use them both."

"Someone stole your tiny Stradivarius? Aw, poor baby, I'm playing the world's smallest violin for you. It's, uh, a different one. Gotta go."

"Apparently impatient midgets don't like to stand on clocks... because it would make them short on time."