200615

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sexually active spaghetti? Fetishini Alfredo"

"""Son, I don't think you're cut out to be a mime."" ""Was it something I said?"" Asks the son. ""Yes."

"Just saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?"

"If someone shows up at my house unannounced, I won't open the door. I just stand on the other side of the glass shaking my head no."

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler Usain Bolt can finish a race."

"A man and a doctor are talking... The doctor says ""I have bad news. You have cancer, and you have Alzheimer's."" The man replies, ""Thank God I don't have cancer."""

"A punk walked into a barber's shop and sat in an empty chair. ""Haircut sir?"" asked the barber. ""No just change the oil please!"""

"My dogs are barking a lot lately but I think it is because their performance appraisals are coming up"

"*snail Olympics* How does it feel? ""Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon"" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? ""What"""

"Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She's still not talking to me."