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Joke of the Day

"I'm a simple man *bites a pinecone* I enjoy simple things *tosses a gun into a lake* that's why I decided to let these bees live in my skull"

"If a man runs over his wife, who's fault is it? The mans, why was he driving in the kitchen?"

"The list of things I hate the most is -Hate -Lists -Irony -Cheap jokes stolen from the internet -Irony -Repetition -Did I mention irony?"

"I better fix the hinge on this cabinet door before Ryan Gosling comes over, takes his shirt off and builds my lady a house."

"What is Marios favorite type of pants? Denim Denim Denim"

"What is the opposite of Christopher Walkin? Christopher Reeve."

"I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them."

"Fuck you ""string"" cheese! Don't tell me how to eat you!"

"A man walked into a bar He's gay now"

"What were the 2 doctors who worked with Schrodinger called? A *paradox.*"