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Joke of the Day

"I'm a simple man *bites a pinecone* I enjoy simple things *tosses a gun into a lake* that's why I decided to let these bees live in my skull"

"I'm starting a talent agency that only represents those dudes in rap videos that just sorta stand around looking all hard."

"MMO players are the best people in bed. They're good grinders."

"Whats brown and sounds like a bell? DUUUUUuU^nnnnnnnggggg^nnnnggg^nnnggg^nnnggg"

"If Obama said If President Obama said he was in favor of oxygen, republicans would suffocate themselves."

"Vampire who is obsessed with his diet. -Count Calories"

"If a dog ran away every three nights and had an orange tail, what would that make it? I think it would still be a dog..."

"What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly a dick in your ass"

"What animal has an asshole on its back? A police horse."

"As a younger man, I used to think women were only good for one thing... As I've gotten older I've realized......I'm better at doing that myself too."