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Joke of the Day

"The wife asked her husband to get rid of his boner He tried, but it was too difficult."

"A bicycle cannot stand alone; it's two tired!"

"Why do people love their smartphones so much? Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)"

"Is Santa Clause real? Because the zero's on my bank statement are."

"Why did God give women yeast infections? That way they know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt."

"How can you tell the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care"

"Carl: So hot today. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: During WW II, Americans tried to train bats to drop bombs. Me: Fair enough."

"I just had a huge fight with my dog She's such a bitch."

"I don't know what the big deal is. Putting my toddler to bed is easy... In fact, just tonight, I did it 25 times."

"I was at a cafe when a Frenchman spilled water on himself. It was a pretty l'eau point in his life. (L'eau is French for water)"