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Joke of the Day

"I was at a cafe when a Frenchman spilled water on himself. It was a pretty l'eau point in his life. (L'eau is French for water)"

"The internet is a place where you can make long-lasting friendships. You can also watch 2 girls drink diarrhea. Two sides to every coin."

"What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity? Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes."

"What is a hamburger's favourite story? Hansel and Gristle!"

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, whereas this little piggy... ... went to a rape crisis centre after being introduced to David Cameron"

"Did you hear the one about a pony with a cough? It was a little horse."

"Why did Muhammad cross the road? You should not question the prophet's motives infidel!"

"My buddy tells me he had sex with his GF and her twin the other night. I asked him how he told them apart. He says, ""well her brother has a mustache"""

"I was screwing my secretary... ...up the arse when my wife walked in. She said, ""You cannot do this to me. I said, ""I know that's why I'm doing it to her."""

"""Sir, I need to ask you to please stop spanking your monkey. This is a bank."" ""Fine, but I'm never coming here again. Come on, George."""