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Joke of the Day

"What's the first thing you should do when confronted by an evil spirit? Try to neghostiate."

"I finally got the confidence to be a peeping tom For the longest time, I was just beating around the bush"

"Thanks for telling me this is your ""pet cat"" because otherwise I might have thought it was your business associate cat."

"So I have half a joke about a guy, Who is really shook up about his Parkinson's diagnosis... But I just cant quite put my finger on the punchline."

"If you think I'm flirting with you, I'm just being friendly. If you think I'm weird and I make you uncomfortable, I'm flirting with you."

"""Well, very clearly cats were sacred to them."" - Archeologist who discovers the Internet"

"Goats have it all figured out. All disputes should be settled with an aggressive series of headbutts."

"If I get bit by a vampire at this age, I'm going to be furious."

"The Voice Coach Voice Coach: ""Let's start with a scale."" Student: ""Do, re, muuuhh, fa, so, la, ti, doooh!"" Voice Coach: ""Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't take that tone with mi!"""

"Did you hear about the Irish firing squad? They formed a circle."