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Joke of the Day

"i like shaking hands with old guys with really tough hands because it feels like im grabbing onto a horse saddle"

"There are 2 hamsters in the airing cupboard, which one is from the Army? A: The one on the tank"

"What is worse than getting a wrong call at 3 AM in the morning? Getting a right call."

"I'm no longer interested in self-discovery; I'm more interested in self-medication."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today."

"What happens when you give Viagra to a politician? He gets taller"

"Its not what it looks like officer! ""you were driving down the highway taking selfies singing n'sync"" Ok I guess it was what it looked like"

"Knock Knock... Who's there? Dim Sum Dim Sum who? [Spoiler](/s ""Dim Sum big titties"")"

"Where's the red light district in Toronto? Behind the Maple Leafs' net."

"Turns out that the best way to find a flat head screw driver is to pretend to look for a phillips one."