194260

Joke of the Day

"Its not what it looks like officer! ""you were driving down the highway taking selfies singing n'sync"" Ok I guess it was what it looked like"

"Q: How can you tell if a cat is blonde? A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head."

"a pastor, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar. he orders a drink...."

"Incredible Hulk Experiment-Day 13 Just woke up. Still not a Hulk. Looks like I ate all those moldy bagels for nothing. -Research Continues"

"How do you turn a robot on? You push his power button."

"I'm not saying all Irish are alcoholics, but Italians, Chinese + Mexicans have restaurants. The Irish only have pubs."

"If your smartphone is wet.. .. put it into a bottle of rice. The rice will then attract asians who will repair it."

"You're about as useful as closed captioning in a porno."

"I have come up with a truly fantastic business idea for Malaysia Airlines. A new slogan! ""Leaving on a jet plane, don't know if I'll be back again."""

"So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, ""Why the long face?"" The horse replies, ""My wife is dying of terminal cancer."""