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Joke of the Day

"My Life I just lost like 500 on betting..What the fuck am i doing with my life"

"What do you call a fat, smelly hermaphodite who gives blow jobs under the bridge for a nickel? Well, YOU call her mom."

"How many Hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies screw in dirty sleeping bags!"

"I think all dads are in a secret competition to see who can sneeze the loudest."

"How many planets are there in the solar system? There used to be nine, then there was eight and when I'm done with Uranus there'll be seven."

"Why was the anomaly so poor? Because it didn't make any cents!"

"Hey girl, did you fall from heaven? Because you have a seriously fucked up face."

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? 'Do you smell carrots?'"

"COP 1: whys there a dead scuba diver in the forest?? COP 2: easy...he was in the water they drop on forest fires WEIRD SERIAL KILLER: no no NO"

"What was David Bowie's last hit? Probably Morphine"