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Joke of the Day

"When you whistle at a bird, it's as offensive to them as saying ""ching chong ding dong"" to a Chinese person."

Next Joke
 
"Interviewer: ""Your resume says you're paranoid."" Me: ""My resume has been talking behind my back?"""
"My urologist is weird. I peed in a cup. He drank it and said, ""You're fine."" Then he paid me. Don't choose a doctor from Craigslist."
"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ""That's not funny."""
"Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall."
"Jay Z: Can I get a what what? Teacher: Jay Z, can you or may you? Jay Z: SORRY MAY I GET A WHAT WHAT Teacher: Yes, you may get a what what."
"I wear a cape because I'm Super Broke"
"What do you call two crows sitting in a tree? Attempted murder."
"Him: I hope you die a slow painful death Me: oh, no I'm not married"
"What's yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye? Bull dozer"