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Joke of the Day

"In case I ever get diabetes, I want to be sure that I'll be comfortable with injecting myself, so I practices by injecting sugar water."

"I'm sorry you're breaking up [static sound] I'm about to go through a tunnel. Dad, we're right in front of you Uh..... go ask your mom."

"They say gays destroy the very fabric of society..... Nonsense! No gay man would ever dream of destroying fabric."

"Nintendo Did you hear about the guy who married his Nintendo? Apparently he did it on Wed-Nes-day."

"A Mexian magician is proffering on stage... He says ""On the count of 3 i will disappear."" Uno. Dos. *POOF * He disappears without a trace."

"Yes, people who exercise live longer. But those extra years are spent...umm...excercising!"

"Whenever I'm in a difficult situation, I think, ""What would I do?"" so I can do the opposite thing"

"What do Germans call a flying jew? Smoke."

"I'll admit, ever since I saw Psycho as a kid I've felt a tiny bit nervous each time I kill someone in the shower."

"Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill."