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Joke of the Day

"Sucks when good bands have dumb names. ""What are you listening to?"" ""It's Made Out of Babies, they're really great."" ""..."""

"Guys that work at animal shelters get all the bitches."

"How do you get a blonde on your roof? Tell her drinks are on the house."

"Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They got 6 months each"

"""Pick a lane! Any lane!"" - I hate commuter magicians."

"Ugh I hate fake fans. Everybody here is standing up & singing along to his big hit, but probably cant name 3 other Francis Scott Key songs."

"Yo mama is so fat that... The recursive function used to calculate her mass causes a stack overflow."

"What can't you hide in a basement full of dead hookers? My erection"

"It's hard following a clown act My girlfriend dated a clown before we started going together. I've got some pretty big shoes to fill."

"In light of the DNC event and my own recent experience with the forced install of windows 10.. What do the Clinton's have in common with Bill Gates? They both no longer need your consent."